What it takes to be a Paramedic.

As I write this, I can't help but think of my partner, who meets none of the qualities that make a good medic. I can't expect that she would either, most women in the United States lack these very qualities as well. My partner used to be kind of cute, now all I see every day is this drooling bumbling cave troll. But let's go over this list:

Compassion - A good paramedic is compassionate. We feel for the plight of others and we have this desire to eliminate it. Kind of hard to do when your mind is permanently on "ME" mode. Reason number one why women in general should not be medics.

Caring - This is just like compassion, and yes, most women care. About themselves. This is reason two.

Strength - This goes without saying. My partner cannot, and does not, help me lift big people. She'll stand to the side checking out her nails while a guy from Fire helps me. I can't do anything but give an embarassed look. Embarassed to be paired up with this bitch. Reason three.

Will power - I thought about this one for a bit and found it relevant. Sometimes we work 24 hour shifts and I'm stuck with this bitch talking about her clothes or shoes, or shopping experience, or whatever jibberish she wants to talk about. But on a 24 hour shift, she will not stop BITCHING that she has to be there, that other medics can pick up her slack (no shit, no one would even notice you weren't there). Then she'll fall asleep on the way to a call and I have to wake her up when we get there, costing valuable time.

Composure - When blood freaks out an EMT, there are problems. I often treat a patient alone because she won't go near blood. Often times I bring it up to my boss, only to get shut down with a swiftness. It's no surprise that my supervisor is a woman. Sometimes my partner will run and cry in the truck during bad trauma calls. What she lacks is called COMPOSURE, and a vast majority of women need to acquire some.

Selflessness - BAHAHAHAHA, a selfless female?!

Duty - This goes right back to composure. This bitch has a fucking duty to perform. She consistantly does not, along with most of the other females working on other crews. This is not a surprise to anyone working with me, and shouldn't be a surprise to anyone reading.

Integrity - I've caught my partner ripping off medical supplies from the truck at the end of shift. Reports are filed, and nothing is done. Again, no surprise when her best buddies are the bosses, and female.

Respect - It's pointless to expect respect out of a female these days. These girls don't even respect their own daddies, and my partner is no different.

This is how I feel about the cunts I work with, this is a frighteningly accurate list of qualities they lack. Read it, let it sink in, and worry when you have a group of female paramedics show up, because you or your loved ones may not make it.